Its Been A LONG time since i blogged...
reasons?? hmm..
camps.. =)... LAZY!

ok enough with the reasons.. serious now...
ok.. guess i've been worrying alot the past few days...
worry about my sheep.. worry about my studies.. worry that the flare in me for god will extinguish.... and i dont want that to happen at all...
i cant wait to shepherd Quan Kai.. i cant wait to see Quan Kai to become a shepherd himself..
during my camp challange from 17/1 to 20/1/07.. i injured my shoulder.. and was sent to the hospital.. lucky for me.. there wasnt any bone fracture or dislocation... but i injured my muscles and joints.. badly..
so... i cant do heavy physical stuff... no 2.4! YAY!...FOCUS!
ya.. and i went for service.. even though my shoulder hurt.. i JUMPED AND CLAPPED LIKE SIAO!
cause i believe my hand will be healed.. i tried to raise up my hand.. though i could not lift it up for too long.. i realise it did not hurt... YIPPEEE!!!
okok! FOCUS!
THUS conclusion.... GOD IS REAL! weee....
okok.. hmmm what else happened??
nothing much i guess...
oh ya.. i would like to ask... why sky is looking at my friendster-.-... dotz...
ok... i would like to thank all my classmates from 326 ! for helping me during the period of time i injured my shoulder!... and i would to thank yk as well! he helped my carry my heavy camp bag and of course keith and jeremiah for caring... and tanks keith and jeremiah for carrying my bag... (cause they hit my shoulder several times....) tank ar... it hurt.. but worth it hor.. =p...

I HAVE BEEN MOTIVATED BY THE FAIRSIANS!
CB3 MUST HIT 21 !

U you
N and
I i
T serving under chrisT
Y hope...

CB3 Is FAT!

F friendly/ faithful
A ambitious/ amiable
T thoughtful

YES! OUR HARVEST WILL REAP! ITS JUST THE MATTER OF TIME!

*evAngel
[joshua]

13/1/07

it was sec 1 orientation.. what fun it was... i got to know my group 111(3)...
2 trackers were in my group.. =)...
ok.. the bad thing is that... 111(3) aka group 18 was not co-operative..
the sec1 were all shouting all over the place..
i had to shout my lungs out.. thus.. i injured my throat...
well.. as time went by.. they listened... that was the good thing..
they slowly became more "mature" and were willing to do whatever we told them to do..
next thing u know it.. it was evening... we brought them for the school night trail...
what really shocked me was that they did not know how to sing the school rally..
everyone went wild at that period of time.. and again i had to control them..
of course i was not the only one who tried to control them..
lucky for me.. aaron and harri were there to help me..
when the school clock struck 12.. i started to feel dizzy... my face started to turn pale..
my eyes were red.. i felt extremely cold that i was shivering...
we manage to get the sec 1 to slp.. with them aslp.. we were able to go for our showers..
the water was freezing cold... and after the shower... i was still shivering...
we went back into our classroom and slpt...
i did not have a good slp at all.. i felt extremely cold..
i tossed and turned.. but still i could not slp as it was too cold..
at 3am... i woke up again.. my whole body was burning hot... but i still felt cold in the outside..
i did not want to wake up the other psl.. so i stood up and walked to the toilet..
my leg was weak.. i could not walk properly.. i felt as though i was about to faint..
after the visiting the restroom.. i made my way back to the classroom..
i had to hold onto the side railings so that i will not fall... i tried to slp again.. and i woke up at 5+
i could see a teacher observing the students..
i went back to slp and when i wake up.. the sec 1 were all awake.. aaron and harri were next to me.. everyone went to wash up except me.. i could not stand up at all.. i felt weak..
still.. i tried and went to the washroom and brushed my teeth..
i went back into the classroom and slpt again...
aaron and harri went to look for help and the psf told me to slp...
i was woken up again when some psf and teacher entered the room to check on me..
yup.. i was having a fever...i continued to slp and woke up at 12...
a teacher told me to go back home so i did..
i had to drag myself all the way to the busstop... i called yk to tell him about my condition and that i could not go for service...
i reached home at 3 and slpt again.. i woke up again at 5+ and my sister brought me to the doctor...
haiz.. of all days.. i got to get sick on 13/1/07...

*evAngel
[joshua]

FIRST PERIOD~ MATHS TEST!... ARGH!!! i didnt do 1 question.. wait.. did not COMPLETE.. why? we were given lesser time..
SECOND PERIOD!! PHYSICS HAHAHA JOKE JOKE... AND WORK WORK
THIRD ENGLISH... MORE JOKES!!
FORTH CHEMISTRY... WORK WORK WORK
REcess...
FIFTH RME... SLACK!!
SIXTH SOCIAL STUDIES NO TEXTBOOK AND WORKBOOK WHY?? no more stock.. weee...

eat lunch.. play soccer...

TRACK MEETING... listen... listen listen...
TRACK TRAINING... 10 rounds along the classroom corridoors... JUMPERS ASSEMBLE UPSTAIRS! stretching... 30 PUSH UPS! 20 SIT UPS! 20 JACK KNIVES! 20 LEG RAISE!
jump down the stair and twist ankle -.-....
HUH!! 800m time trail.. WA SIAN!!!.... 2min 49secs... WA DAM SLACK!! haha... and almost had muscle cramp...
slack in canteen.. went home with ashwin.. took lrt to cck haha... go home and do physics graph.. guess what.. NO GRAPH PAPER! die..
did work for jie ying and now im typing wow... slack day right?

*evAngel
[joshua]

Wo de xin chang shou ge gei ni ting
Let my heart sing a song just for you
Ge ci shi ru ci de tian mi
The lyrics are blissful
Ke shi wo hai xiu wo mei you yong qi dui ni shuo yi ju wo ai ni
But I am too shy to say the words ‘I love you’
Wei shen me ni hai shi bu yan bu yu
Why have you still not spoken
Nan dao (shi) ni bu dong wo de xin
No wonder you don’t understand my heart
Bu guan ni yong shen me fang shi biao ming
No matter what method you use to make it clear
Wo hui dui ni shuo wo yuan yi
I will say to you that I am willing
qian yan wan yu li
all the words that can be said
Zhi you yi ju hua neng biao bai wo de xin
Only one phrase can really represent what my heart wants to say
qian yan wan yu li
all the words that can be said
Zhi you yi ju hua jiu neng gou rang wo men xiang wei xiang yi
only this phrase is capable of letting us be together
wo ai ni ni shi wo de zhu li ye
I love you for you are my juliet
Wo yuan yi bian cheng ni de liang shan bo
I am willing to change into your ‘liang shan bo’ (‘Chinese’ Romeo)
Xing fu de mei yi tian, lang man de mei yi ye
happiness each and every day, romantic each & every night
Ba ai yong yuan bu fang kai I love you
Never let love go for I love you
Wo ai ni ni shi wo de luo mi ou
I love you for you are my romeo
Wo yuan yi bian cheng ni de zhu ying tai
I am willing to change into your ‘zhu ying tai’ (‘Chinese’ Juliet)
Xing fu de mei yi tian, lang man de mei yi ye
happiness each and every day, romantic each & every night
Mei li de ai qing zhu fu zhe wei lai
the beautiful love that we share will bless our future

Wee.. im having homework everyday.. i have to rush all my work.. because i have training! wow..
ok.. i need to do better for my events... MEDALS!!!
and to everyone who thinks that im finding a "replacement" well.. $(*&^%$#@... thx..

it was a tough night..
i made my decision when i came to know that you never once loved me...
that u used me as a replacement so that u would forget about her...
that u will never gonna accept me again... the crap about u believing the relationship would be a success... was gone..
i digged into my wallet and took out everything that was related to u...
i kept everything with me to remind myself about u... but i guess its rubbish...
i took out my lighter and burnt everything away..
will i ever regret?.. i guess... no...
the next morning... i was suppose to go to malaysia.. but when i woke up in my father's car..
we were infront of ur house... i thought i was dreaming... but i wasnt...
the hocker centre that u once told me SUCKS was infront of me...
was it a coincidence?... that i've given up my hope being with u... and the next day.. at ur house?
i've erased everything that is links to u...
even ur number... ur image.. ur smile... everything...
everything u've written on... have all been thrown... and i shall not look into the past...
i shall not allow the ghost from the past to haunt me anymore....
i must stand and fight against it..

*evAngel
[joshua]

Good News:
1) Quan Kai Got Into Queensway! yay! (pls remember to continue study)
2) school is not so boring after all!..
3) i've made new friends!

Bad News:
1) the wierd feeling in me is still there!
2) i've been bitten by many red ants... ouch...
3) my heart feels as though a huge stone crushed on it..
4) i've injured my knee and i cant continue running.. (for now)

Ok... lets see... now that my knee hurts... i cant run.. properly.. my fitness will SUCK.. ok...
WHAT IS MY FREAKING PROBLEM!!!
what is in me that makes my heart ache so much?
homework is gonna be hell... i had to stayed up till 1am to complete my hw...
geography lesson is rather... boring...
im starting to feel emo-ish....!!

somehow.. i feel as though im missing something..
where is that self-confidence that i use to have?
what happened to the forever cheerful joshua?
whats this wierd feeling in me?
whats my problem??
i cant cry anymore!... why?? hmm... I DONT KNOW!!
whats my purpose of writing all this out... hmm... its not to look for someone to pity me..
its just to let out all my emotion... and my feelings...

Your subtleties
They strangle me
I can't explain myself at all.
And all the wants
And all the needs
All I don't want to need at all.

The walls start breathing
My mind's unweaving
Maybe it's best you leave me alone.
A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow.

When darkness turns to light,
It ends tonight
It ends tonight.

A falling star
Least I fall alone.
I can't explain what you can't explain.
You're finding things that you didn't know
I look at you with such disdain

The walls start breathing
My mind's unweaving
Maybe it's best you leave me alone.
A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow.

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won't make this right
It's too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.

Now I'm on my own side
It's better than being on your side
It's my fault when you're blind
It's better that I see it through your eyes

All these thoughts locked inside
Now you're the first to know

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won't make this right
It's too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won't make this right
It's too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.

Tonight
Insight
When darkness turns to light,
It ends tonight...

I really miss you
There's something that I gotta say
The things we did, the things we said
Keep coming back to me and make me smile again
You showed me how to face the truth
Everything that's good in me I owe to you
Though the distance that's between us
Now may seem to be too far
It will never seperate us
Deep inside I know you are

Never gone, never far
In my heart is where you are
Always close, everyday
Every step along the way
Even though for now we've gotta say goodbye
I know you will be forever in my life (yeah)
Never gone

No no no
I walk alone these empty streets
There is not a second you're not here with me
The love you gave, the grace you've shown
Will always give me strength and be my cornerstone(Somehow)
Somehow you found a way
To see the best I have in me
As long as time goes on
I swear to you that you will be

Never gone, never far
In my heart is where you are
Always close (always close)
Everyday (everyday)
Every step along the way
Even though for now we've gotta say goodbye
I know you will be forever in my life (in my life yeah)

Never gone from me
If there's one thing I believe (I believe)
I will see you somewhere down the road again

Never gone, never far
In my heart is where you are
Always close (always close)
Everyday (everyday)
Every step along the way
Even though for now we've gotta say goodbye (yeah yeah)
I know you will be forever in my life (in my life)

Never gone, never far
In my heart (in my heart is where) is where you are (you are)
Always close, everyday
Every step along the way
Never gone, never far
In my heart is where you are

5 months have passed.. and counting...

Never want to fly
Never want to leave
Never want to say what you mean to me
Never want to run
Frightened to believe
You're the best thing about me

Walk on broken glass make my way through fire
These are the things I would do for love
Farewell peace of mind kiss goodbye to reason
Up is down the impossible occurs each day
This intoxication thrills me
I only pray it doesn't kill me

Good News:
Its 2007! YAY! a new year to start afresh
Bad News:
im 1 year older T.T..
Good News:
Chinese New Year Will Arrive In A Flash!
Bad News:
Have To Suffer A Month Of School first...
Complete Holiday HomeWork ASAP!
Suck Up To The Teacher...
GO FOR TRACK!

there are loads of good news... but with every good news... there are bad news...

yesterday! sinyee, quan kai, june, wei jang and joel slept over at my house... wee...
it was crazy -.-.... we went down to the countdown crap nearby and recieve many GP batteries box... now WHAT AM I GONNA DO WITH THEM!
we had a mini countdown at the corner and went for food.. muahaha..
oh ya.. claire was there too.. but she left early...
we watch the exorcist.. and sin yee and june keep saying that it was not scary at all..
(until disc 2) hahaha... ARGH!!! hahahaha...
i was messing around with quan kai's psp.. and played fifa.. man u! woooohooo..

oh ya.. last service.. quan kai was complaining that he wanted a new bible.. and wanted to buy it..
i cant stand there and do nothing so i rushed of to buy him a bible and wrote a note behind and gave it to him.. when i gave it to him.. i felt happy.. and satisfied.. why?

1) im happy that quan kai wants to be closer to God..
2) quan kai wants to bring alot of his friends to hope (thats a good thing)
3) quan kai wants to be a shepherd by next year! (may i think)
4) he asks more questions about God.. and wants to know how to encourage his friends to come to hope =)

and since we are talking about quan kai..
QUAN KAI U CAN MULTITASK AT NIGHT SIA!
quankai slp-talked.. slp-walked.. slp-POINT.. slp-SHOUT.. and slp... lol..
lucky i was next to him and looking after him.. i was afraid to fall aslp.. incase he do anything stupid...
but his actions are too sudden.. and he always gives me a shock..
and he snores... and breath.. LOUDLY... etc etc...
shocking... o.O...O.o..

haiz.. if quan kai goes to whitly secondary.. i believe that God did that for a reason..
and if he goes to Queensway sec.. than he will stay in central.. and i may be his shepherd..
but well.. God have his life plan all planned out.. and no matter where he goes.. he will still grow spiritually! and that is a good thing =)...

with such "excitements" in my life.. no wonder i feel better now...
though.. i still have some questions in my head.. but i must still remain cheerful..
so that it will not affect OTHERS!~ YES!
GOGOGO!!! JIA YOU JIA YOU JIA YOU!!

*evAngel
[joshua]