Whats The Problem?
i realise i've been feeling rather miserable this past few days..
i thought i knew all my problems.. but i guess.. im wrong..
there are somemore problems deep in me that are yet revealed..
my dad in now stopping me from going to church..
what am i suppose to do? sneak out?
for some reason or another... i feel some sorrow within me that cant be released..(tears)
I'm not the kind of guy to fall in love
But baby I've fallen for you
I've fallen like an angel for real
It's the way that you're making me feel
Walking the streets all along
Thinking how much I'm gonna be true
To you
If you held me tonight
That would make things alright
Could you love me
Could you love me
If I held you tonight I would make things alright
Could you trust me
Cause I'm telling you baby
i need to move on!..
i believe that God will help me and give me the strength to perserve...
it may be hard.. but still.. i have to do it!..
if not.. i'll be "trapped" in my ridiculous obsession...
*evAngel
[joshua]
I've made a Deal & I'll Never Regret..
though i know that my love for you is still deep in my heart but...
I HAVE TO LIVE WITH IT!
im happy that i was able to help my "wife" to get out of his so called "misery"?
but.. who can help to solve mine?
i've sworn to my leader that i will never get myself into anymore bgr!
this few days, i realise some leaders are getting concern about such matters..
i've also realise that my shepherd looks troubled.. what is it that is troubling him?
today, i went to my "wife" .. for?.. house warming! yay!...
who went... hmm.. denise.. cynthia.. abigail.. samantha.. ziya.. johan..trisha.. haha..
and trisha looks more girl-like!.. yahoo! good for her!
first time i met denise -.-... and i realise she wears guys clothing.. but she is not crook.. ok.. lol..
lets see.. cynthia hit my ****... ouch.. abigail grabbed it by accident.. still ouch.. samantha.. hit near it.. still.. ouch.. >.<...
i feel so vulnerable all of a sudden... a sudden sense of insecurity... argh.. and i feel uncomfortable with cynthia.. seriously -.-...
oh ya.. ytd at central ab (informal) FIRST EVER caregroup! we went cycling.. and i fell..
how? i ran next to the bic.. and i fell.. with the bic lending on me.. argh... bad blood...
and ive made new friends from central a! yay!..
lets see if i can remember the nick names i've given them..
ju hua, vampire, angelyn, sunshine, central a, clarie, curly, sherlyna, desert and if im not wrong thats about it...
and ive made a good friend! its clarie! yay..!..
*please tell me if im acting like L*..
ive completed all my work except... english.. the killer.. XD...
actually.. i dont really know how i feel.. i feel like i need my shepherd..
to go away from temptation and stop playing with fire...
i know my weakness... do you?...
*evAngel
[joshua]
MErry CHRISTmas
Central chalet was real... fun.. ya right... a little.. haha..
lets see.. we played ps2 there.. played fifa street soccer2.. fun..
naruto.. some crappy racing game.. some wierd fight game..
and we played a little soccer.. alot of card games.. and of course.. mafia..
i did not slp at night.. and when it was 7.. i fell aslp.. after eating macdonalds..
i ordered macs and they arrived 2hours plus later -.-...
my friendship with others kinda improved... i love helping out in the kitchen (hazel) haha..
i love the cookies..(cookie monster)... i love the bedroom (taupok)...
and many more... for some reason.. i want to play mafia now.. lol..
alot of crap happened.. but i just dont want to type them out..
but i dare say that i was pissed as well.. due to some people.. -.-...
and i almost faint in the train today.. cool right.. haha... not funny..
lame stories... santa claus.. snowman ... mosquito... raindeer... oldman.. angel -.-...
*evAngel
[Joshua]
My Poor Face (T.T)
i was hit on the right side of my face for.. i dunno how many times! ouch ouch..
jie ying, clara, desmond, ian, some fairfield people and i went to play pool today!
and jie ying was using the stick to poke my and hit me T.T... clara broke the "curse" by hitting my nose and the tip of the stick hit my eye.. ARGH the chalk -.-...
and ya.. i was assaulted by that ah pei for alot of times.. and she went out to talk on the phone with duno who.. while we had to much fun playing..
after pool.. we went of to tiong and ate at kfc.. cleo took $10 from me and i CANT BUY MY BOOKS! wth.. thx man.. and i have to worry about my hw.. and central camp..
im not even such i can go T.T... ya and they had a mini food fight and some hit strangers.. yup..
we than bought bubble tea and i spit the pearls at clara's hair muahaha.. fun fun fun...
and after that.. everyone went back home leaving jie ying, clara, desmond and i...
we went to popular and clara met her friends.. uh huh.. i asked.. who are they.. and she hit my right cheek REAL HARD TWICE! and hit my eye.. wa VERY PISSED!... i rushed off immediately to the mrt and wanted to go home.. and desmond caught up with me.. than i u-turn and i laughed muahha.. PUNKED!! ya.. but still it hurt... ALOT..
anw.. we went to buy a packet of poker cards and went off to tiong park.. i think im in love with the place le..
and we played SNAP JACK.. I WON haha... and we were sharing ghost stories and we went up the playground and chat..
it was very creepy but we believe that jesus will protect us! AMEN!!
and we had alot of fun.. talking.. we wanted to go off le.. but it rained heavier.. omg...
and i was like argh... nvm nvm.. so we continued chatting..
clara grandparents? i think was waiting for her at the mrt to bring her home(due to the rain)
so we had to rush off.. we walked through puddles of water and got to the mrt..
we manage to get into the train.. and ya.. it was fun la..
we continued to chat on the train and got off at jurong east.. and went back home..
and my dad called again.. now im soooo crapped.. why? my dad refuses to pass me any money le.. haiz.. I NEED MONEY!!! TO BUY BOOKS ARGH!! tomorrow must go training!
wake up at 6.30 baby!! WAKE UP!!! and give me impiration to do my compo!
*evAngel
[Joshua]
Finally I Blog Again
ahh.. i feel refreshed after breakthrough camp..
YES! i feel God in me.. feel me up!
not only that!.. by attending breakthrough camp i have made more friends!
ok even ppl like celeste and hazel etc etc.. i finally get to hmm.. communicate with them?
everytime i go to church!! i can feel the adrenaline rush in me immediately..!..
God is for real everyone..! experience the joy by attending yhope (singapore) service THIS SATURDAY! if u have any questions.. u can ask me.. =)
when i read keith's blog.. i disagree with him about certain things.. for example.. keith said that we shouldn't spend time anyone more than spending time with God... well.. i disagree with him..
spending time with people around is important as well.. so we should spend the equal amount of time on both God and people.. why? It is said in the bible that we should love the people around us the same as how we love God... Why? we are images of God thus we should love one another..
if we dont spend time with the images of God... the relationship will become bad to worst.. and thus we are not doing what is God telling us to do..
im happy that mark (from barker) is the newest member in our cg! yes!! breakthrough 1000!
CENTRAL AB3! 21!...
and of course i am happy that shawn and evangelyn have join CAB and we are heading for our goal of 55! YES!
and of course a very warm welcome to other ppl who just join hope.. why? THEY ARE PEOPLE WHO WILL BRING US TOWARDS OUR GOAL! BREAKTHROUGH 1000!
oh yes i did a performance during last service and it was a success for both service! WEE!!
and i have finally decided to join usher and im just waiting for my interview >.<...
i want to be involved! and help out in God! YES!!
there is sooo many things i want to say but i dont have the time to do so!
so i will blog another time!
*evANGEL
[joshua]
Its Still Getting From Bad To Worst
im not sure what kind of *#%#$@# relatives i got..
when i thought all problems will slowly be resolves...
I THINK IM WRONG!!
why>? the most shyt news came out ytd.. that BOTH my grandfather have cancer
and the relatives on my father side pay only a small amount.. AND WHO IS THE ONE PAYING?
take a wild guess... US! the best part is that my dad have many siblings..
and they all pay a very small amount.. and my dad have to burn a whole in his pocket -.-..
NOT ONLY THAT!... my dad is also the one who is PAYING for the maid taking care of my grandfather..
ok.. enough about my dad's side.. now.. my mum's side...
due to the amount of money spent on my grandfather's hospital bill...(father's side)
we still have to pay for my grandma & grandpa (mum side) bills..
grandma is now very weak.. she have been suffering alot.. we have to hire a nurse to care for her..
and with the recent news of my grandpa's cancer.. we have to worry.. why?.. the money DUH!!
i hope everything will end soon... haiz...
yesterday.. i went out with my primary school friends... those who were in 4/6..
and i realise i was the only boy.. great... who went?
xing ya, olivia, odilia (dressed like aunty), vivian (still as fair as a pontianak), jocelyn(looked so wierd) and my pri form teacher miss wong..
and we watched happy feet... and i will laughing like a maniac(as usual)..
and i took my very first neoprint... well girls being girls.. they of course will mess up the pic...
they spend 40mins decorating the picture.. and of course since im the only boy..
they bully me... T.T... now have to wait for miss wong to send us the pictures..
i think i have gastric pain... why? ive been skipping meals... life is soooo screwed up..
my popcorn was assaulted by toddlers who have never seen popcorn in their life...
they are the girls... haha... vivian keep on dropping the scissors on the table.. smart..
oh ya.. ive been playing sims.. wow?... love my family..(in sims).. oh ya.. i trapped my friend by accident and my friend died... the dam tombstone is at the side of the house -.-..
ok.. i think emo-punk is a dam good thing... if u know me... u will know that i will be fun to be with at some time.. and the rest of the time.. i wont be..
[emo-punk]
Joshua
Staying At Home -.- ...
ok.. after going out since the day i came back from china... i realise.. i have no more money.. -.-..
my dad quarrelled with me and THATS WHY I DONT WANT TO OPEN UP TO HIM..
life is SO wonderful...
what can i do now? since im at home all the time.. hmm..
play basketball... with? me myself and i...
oh ya.. i forgotten that im sick.. who cares!
since im still gonna stay at home tomorrow..
oh ya.. i have tuition tomorrow.. WHO CARES!
if only i start dancing again.. nvm..
missed cg today.. -.-.. sorry..
will there be floorball this friday?..
not sure.. hmm..
dont even know who is in the team for floorball..
well.. as in i've nv heard of their name..
i feel like exploding anytime!
so.. dont disturb me..
freaking pissed.. with many things.. nvm..
i will just pretend i know nothing..
acting friendly is so hard.. daoing is the best..
if only i could disappear for a day.. if only.. if only..
AAAARrGHGHGH!!!
AM I OUT OF MY MIND!...
just hope than my leg will heal before church camp... -.-...
[emo-punk]
Joshua
Blame Me If I Dont Want To Talk..
If you realise.. i dont like to some people.. and when i dont..
they will disturb me.. -.-.. well.. this is to those who i dont talk to..
Dont Come And Test Me.. -.-"...
Oh Ya.. Another Thing.. Those who love to hit my back..
well.. i have a few marks on my back cause people just love to hit my back..
and it really hurts.. if someone hits my back again -.-...
dont blame me if i take revenge by smacking your back..
Maybe nothing else will ever be so clear
Or maybe that's only my fear
If just for one day I wish I could disappear
Just take me far from here
Maybe I'd find out nothing new
Maybe I'd end up just like you
There's no solution (no solution)
Give me truth to my conviction
Is my own confusion (my confusion)
Reality or fiction
Am I out of my mind?
The constant pressure that keeps hanging over me (hanging over me)
It makes me feel so empty
It's more than anything that I could ever be (I could ever be)
What else could you take from me
It's getting harder to relate
Don't want to make the same mistakes
There's no solution (no solution)
Give me truth to my conviction
Is my own confusion (my confusion)
Reality or fiction
Am I out of my mind?
It took me so long to find out it's right
There in front of me
Too close to see
What I thought was true
I see right through what's killing you
There's no solution (I can see)
Give me truth to my conviction
Is my own confusion (that I feel)
Reality or fiction
Am I out of my mind?
So maybe nothing else will ever be so clear
Or maybe that's only my fear (Am I out of my mind?)
If just for one day I wish I could disappear
Just take me far from here (Am I out of my mind?)
Whats Real Love?
Title: Whats Real Love?
tian tian dou xu yao ni ai,
wo de xing shi you ni cai,
I love you,
wo jiu shi yao ni rang wo mei tian dou jing cai
tian tian ba ta gua zhui bian
dao di shen me shi zhen ai
I love you
dao di you ji fen shuo de bi xiang xiang geng kuai
shi wo men gang qing feng fu tai kang kai
hai shi shang tian ang pai
shi wo men ben lai jiu shi na yi ban
hai shi she bu de tai guai
shi na yi chi yue ding le mei you lai
rang wo ku de xiang xiao hai
shi wo men ji zhe zheng ming wo chun zai
hai shi bu ai hui fa dai
baby
bu de bu ai, bu zhi kuai le chong he er lai,
bu de bu ai, fang xia bei shang chong her er lai,
bu de bu ai, fou zhi wo jiu shi qu wei lai
hai xiang shen me you qi bu neng zhi ji shi bai
ke shi mei tian dou guo de jing cai
tian tian dou xu yao ni ai wo de xing zhi you ni zai
I love you
wo jiu shi yao ni rang wo mei tian dou jing cai
tian tian ba ta gua zhui bian
dao di shen me shi zhen ai
I love you
dao di you ji fen shuo de bi xiang xiang geng kuai
RAP :
I ask gal fren how you been
lai qu le ji hui
wo chong lai mei you xiang guo ai qing hui bian de ru chi wu nai,
shi ming yun ma, nan dao nan guo shi shang tian de an pai,
mei ban fa,
tian tian de mei tian de xing shi dao di you shui lai pei,
wo cheng xin, ni cheng yi
dan zhou wei rao ren huan jin shi zhong rang wo men wu fa zai zhi li
zhi you xiang lian
wo jin cai, ni fa dai,
liang ke xin bu an de yao bai,
ying gai you de wei lai,
shi fou zhen ne na me wu fa qi dai
she bu de zai shang hai,
you're my girl my girl my friend
how much I love you so so much
kan zhe ni ai chou
yao wo ru he zhen me cheng shou mian dui
I'm sorry you're my sweetheart
my love
my one and only baby
hui bu hui you yi dian wu nai
hui bu hui you yi dian tai kuai
ke shi ni gei wo de ai
rang wo yang cheng le yi lai
xing zhong chong man ai de jie pai
tian tian dou xu yao ni ai
wo de xing shui you ni zai
I love you
wo jiu shi yao rang ni mei tian dou jing cai
tian tian ba ta gua zhui bian
dao di shen me shi zhen ai
I love you
dao di you ji fen shuo de bi xiang xiang geng kuai
(bu de bu ai)
when i was in china.. i used some time to write out the song lyrics of a song..
cause i cant find the lyrics.. so if the chinese hanyu pin ying is wrong.. sry..
ru guo gei ni zhi you na me duo
ni hui bu hui fan er ai shang wo
ru guo dui ni ai de tai duo
hui bu hui rang zi ji gen ji mo
yao shi dui ni she me dou bu shuo
ni you mei you nie xin den dai wo
ai qin zhe ge you xi she me dou bu zuo jiu bu hui zuo
yong bao bei ren you duo me hao guo
gei ren yong bao shi fou gen kuai huo
xuan zhe wu shen bu xi bao zhi chen me hai shi ni yuan ai de cai shuo
ke neng wo men
da gai wo men hai mei you zun bei
zhun bei zhe me chen shou nan guo
zhao dao ai ni de yuan ying ying wei er bu xiang kan dao le jie guo
liang ge ren yi tian dou wan tan lian ai ke shi shi shuai liao jie she me cai she ai
ru guo ba yi qie shuo ming bao you xi jiu bu jing cai
gan dong de xin jiu hui ting bai
mei ge ren zhi xiang hao hao tan lian ai you mei you xiang xiang liang ge ren de wei lei
wo ji daier wang le xian zai de ni hai shi li kai xian zai wo duo me xi huan ni liu gei ni cai
ru guo gei ni zhi you na me duo
ni hui bu hui fan er ai shang wo
ru guo dui ni ai de tai duo
hui bu hui rang zi ji gen ji mo
yao shi dui ni she me dou bu shuo
ni you mei you nie xin den dai wo
ai qin zhe ge you xi she me dou bu zuo jiu bu hui zuo
yong bao bei ren you na me hao guo
gei ren yong bao shi fou gen kuai huo
xuan zhe wu shen bu xi bao zhe chem me hai shi ni yuan ai de cai shuo
ke neng wo men da
gai wo men hai mei you zun bei
zun bei zhe me chen shou nan guo
zhao dao ai ni de yuan ying yin wei er bu xiang kan dao le jie guo
liang ge ren yi tian dou wan tan lian ai ke shi shi shuai liao jie she me cai shi ai
ru guo ba yi qie shuo ming bai you xi jiu bu jing cai
gan dong de xin jiu hui ting bai
mei ge ren zhi xiang hao hao tan lian ai you mei you xiang xiang liang ge ren de wei lei
wo ji daier wang le xian zai xian zai de ni hai shi li kai xian zai de wo zai yu zhi hui lei ke neng shi wo zhu dong li kai xian zai wo duo me xi huan ni liu gei ni cai
[dead]
Joshua
1 day with my sister
Title: 1 day with my sister
yay.. first of all.. MY INTERNET IS FIXED!!! YES!!
wait.. to some confused ppl they will be thinking.. when did it spoil?...
well.. when i was in china my sister spoiled the modem..
when i came back she told me no more internet.. T.T...
oh ya.. for the record.. IM BROKE!...
why u ask? well.. i bought 4 pair of shoes... thats why... thanks thanks...
oh ya back to the title.. 1 day with my sister...
it was about 11am.. i asked my sister if she wanted lunch.. (btw she was slping)
and she said scream... i was like huh? scream?
as in S-C-R-E-A-M? and she nodded her head...
and i said u dont want lunch and she shaked her head.. wow?...
after lunch i went to slp.. and my sister woke me up 12 mins later...
we went to her school and did some crap.. oh ya.. we took a taxi...
and while waiting for the taxi.. i had to buy 2 fishcake and 2 bubbletea and run back to the bubbletea shop why? cause i drop my straw "yippee"!... (ya right)
and after that.. we went to sim lim to buy the router for my internet.. and before that..
we went shopping... i wanted a sweater and i regretted not buying it T.T...
anw.. we went for afternoon tea and went to mdis cause my sister teacher wants to tell her somethings...
and after that.. i came home.. wow!... and alot of things happened... it is just that im lazy..
and i have a wife! =).. my wife is marcus wee!
bf's foreva! =)...
and have been out with ex-ants.. alot.. and i LIKE IT!.. haha..
oh ya.. and dont forget samantha and abigail as well.. haha.. cya
[fu*ked]
joshua
