Is Life Suppose To Be So Hard?
I Broke Up From A Relationship Before An Exam..
Studying Seemed To Be A Problem To Me..
Memories flashes in my head...
i cant do anything but cry..

my exams are here..
everyone is all excited..
discussing about their subjects..
i still feel the pain and sorrow..
the results came out..
i did badly.. everyone is happy no matter what..
i felt miserable.. but i could still see some hope..

days before the posting..
i manage to keep my results away from my head..
my parents limited my money usage..
everyone seemed to be far away from me..
though i seem happy but i aint..
i cried out my sorrow.. when i thought everything was going to be fine..
well.. they turn out worst..

i was posted to the last class.. knowing that i only can take elective geog..
and no full humans... i felt ashamed..
everyone i knew from church everywhere were doing much better than me..
psl camp was the only thing that made me happy..
buy whenever someone asked me about my posting..
i felt the pain in my heart again..
the fun we had were only temporary..

after my ace camp.. i realised that my grandpa was hospitalised...
now my dad tells me that the doctor says that there is 90% chance that he have cancer..
i went for his birthday celebration.. and we had fun..
but i could not bare to see my grandpa suffer..
he wasnt willing to stay in the hospital at all..
the day before his birthday..
he repeatedly called for the doctor... requesting that he was to be released immediately...
the doctor did not have any choice but the allow him to be released...

the last night of psltc..
i was talking to deon...
deon told me about his relationship...
i shared him mine as well.. i tried to make it sound funny..
but i couldnt.. i wanted to burst into tears...
but i cant!... not infront of him..
i did not want anyone to know how i really feel..

when i come back from psltc... my parents...
instead of being supportive.. and instead of encouraging me..
they keep scolding me..
saying that other ppl do better than me..
saying that now im still in the last class.. im happy about it...
they will not only repeat it once... nor twice... but serveral times..
all my friends have advanced... and im still left behind..
everytime i see their happy faces.. i pei fu them..
keith... he have been doing well.. everyone seem to like talking to him...
jemeriah...he makes everyone happy with his jokes... no one will be miserable with him...
i on the other hand... cant do a shyt... lame lame lame me... i cant really do much...

i feel that life is not really that meaningful anymore..
i feel left out... the only thing that can make me happy... are my games...
and other stuff... sometimes i feel lke opening up... but i cant..
my heart have solidified and is now cold..
all i can feel now is pain... sorrow.. misery...
ppl will say that i cry all the time..
ppl see that i always play and am not bothered about my studies...
even my parents...
i play games to try to bring myself out of reality...
my heart is bleeding... does anyone know that?...
anyone knows how i feel?...
i dont have the guts to talk to my friends now...

now all i can do.. is hope and pray..
that i will be able to be successful in my appeal...
the chances are not high.. i know that..
my hopes are low... my heart is dry...
i go around telling ppl not to think of death..
but i keep telling myself that i want to die..

i have a ridiculous obsession of love..
i know that being back together with the person i love is not going to happen
its like the smart and the dum..
beauty and the beast..
images of me being run down by a car is often..
yk tells me that when god is by my side... who will oppose me?...
well.. i doubt those words often...
my life is getting from bad to worst...
a steep slope... down to hell...
stepped on... crushed... smashed.. and left aside...

now.. without even the slightest will power and courage...
im going for my appeal interview...
tomorrow...

Is There Anyone Out There Who Can Help Me Get Back My Heart...
Willpower... Strength..

Ive Given You My Heart.. But U Preferred Someone Else's...

听回忆呼吸
长达一世纪
脑海中都是你
冷瘦瘦城市里
像无声的电影
让孤单教我演戏
幻想我可以把时间倒回去
那时候 我们才相遇
也许我没搭上爱情的时光器
可是我永远不会忘记

爱你第一个原因 就是你的安静
你就是那么特别那么唯一
虽然你像一朵云 飞出了我的记忆
我爱你别忘记

我思念着段过去 没有人可以代替
记得我爱你每一个原因
别管我 了不了解 永远这一个谜语
从今天到以后 我心中有你

听回忆呼吸
长达一世纪脑海中都是你
冷瘦瘦城市里
像无声的电影
让孤单教我演戏
幻想我可以把时间倒回去
那时候 我们才相遇
也许我没搭上爱情的时光器
可是我永远不会忘记

爱你第一个原因 就是你的安静
你就是那么特别那么唯一
虽然你像一朵云 飞出了我的记忆
我爱你别忘记
我思念着段过去 没有人可以代替
记得我爱你每一个原因
别管我 了不了解 永远这一个谜语
从今天到以后 我心中有你~ Woohoo

爱你第一个原因 就是你的安静
你就是那么特别那么唯一
虽然你像一朵云 飞出了我的记忆
我爱你别忘记
我思念着段过去 没有人可以代替
记得我爱你每一个原因
别管我 了不了解 永远这一个谜语
从今天到以后 我心中有你 Woohoo

永不忘记

just cant get u out of my head...