There Is Time For Everything...
God will heal me.. when the time comes... but when will it come
the pain to me is unbearable..
what can i do?...
to sit and cry?
to act as if im crazy?
seek for my leaders advice?
seek for comfort?
im bleeding from the inside...

went for service at expo today... samantha did not come as she was afraid that her leader will be furious... nvm.. i went to ps and look for Jem Yk And Joel... and went to look for Keith and wei jang... went to expo together and when we arrived at expo.. we were lead by zachary to the hall where we celebrated our church 15th anniversary.. after a "lively" performance... we stood up and sang praise and worship to the lord... after that we had sermon and during sermon i smsed jy and said that she dressed like a punk... and smsed sarah.. and ask her why is jessie frowning most of the time... and during sermon.. the chinese dude was translating to the people from the chinese people.. sarah being a eurasian.. thus ( not so well in her chinese)... was having problems haha... confused... haha.. nvm.. after that.. we walked to the front and jumped by singing more praise and worship as the grand finale... went for dinner at the food court near by... after our meal.. June Yk Jem Joel Sy and I played virus... ran around and soon i realise that i was the soul survival.. after that... we rest.. Joel and June chased one another... seeing who is faster... and after all that running around... Joel shirt was transparent.. and when he sat on the floor.. i realised that he spilt his pants... again... funny... went to the station and went to town.. at first i thought Sy.. June.. and the Fairfield Girls are going to town so i decided to tag along with Yk and Joel.. Jem went off instead... when we reached orchard.. i realise that the crescent gals were coming along... and the only word in my head was.. shit...
went to scott.. and there we went to coffee bean where we bought drinks... due to the lack of space.. Yk Joel and I sat at another table.. seperating us from the gals.. that was a gd thing...
but i could not help myself by looking at their direction.. and only look at one person...
when there was a table available next to them.. we changed sits.. and sat next to them.. soon.. some people left.. and we than sat together with the gals.. Joel in the other hand went off first.. i stared into space and i put my head down.. people thought i was slping.. but i was crying... when we decided to go off... i rubbed off the tears and acted "normal"... i walking pace was slow.. very slow.. and Yk and clara was next to me.. they decided to take the bus since both of them lived near one another.. and i was left alone.. i felt empty from the start and thought to myself.. hey at least Yk will be accompanying me for awhile... but since he took the bus.. i decided to take the longer mrt route home... i did not want to go home at all.. i wanted to slp over at anyone's place.. and at least have a friendly conversation... and we will get to know one another and share our problems and give each other advice.... samantha felt down and recovered just a few mins after she smsed me.. cause someone was talking to her... for me.. i was down.. jy asked me if i was able to get over the person.. but i could say was that i couldnt and instead of forgetting of her...my feelings for her grow stronger for her.. even if i dont show it...
i stood in the train and suddenly a tear rolled down my cheek... i was shocked.. i was crying.. even when i did not want to.. i realise that holding back my tears and feelings were useless.. as they will bound to come out... i wiped of the tears.. and sat down.. it grew worst.. i bowed down my head i supported it with my hand.. the tears dripped down my face and onto the floor... when i got off at cck... i stopped.. and walked home.. slowly.. i felt lonely and empty.. i thought to myself... HOW LONG DO I HAVE TO SUFFER FROM THIS PAIN!... when i got home.. i was all silent.. and did not talk much... watched a documentary on solar disasters and took a shower.. walked to the computer and cried... i went to my blog and looked... the tag board could not be read... sad... life must be so miserable.. hope i can end it all...

*if only i did not give up... if only... (regretting)

At the beginning with you

We were strangers, starting out on a journey
Never dreaming, what we'd have to go through
Now here we are, I'm suddenly standing
At the beginning with you

No one told me, I was going to find you
Unexpected, what you did to my heart
When I lost hope
You were there to remind me
This is the start

Chorus:
And life is a road and I wanna keep goin'
Love is a river I wanna keep flowin'
Life is a road now and forever wonderful journey
I'll be there when the world stops turning
I'll be there when the storm is through
In the end I want to be standing
At the beginning with you

We were strangers, on a crazy adventure
Never dreaming, how our dreams would come true
Now here we stand, unafraid of the future
At the beginning with you

(Repeat Chorus)

Knew there was somebody somewhere
I need love in the dark
Now I know my dream will live on
I've been waiting so long
Nothing is going to tear us apart

(Repeat Chorus)

Life is a road and I wanna keep goin'
Love is a river I wanna keep flowin'
Starting out on a journey

(Repeat Chorus)

In the end I want to be standing
At the beginningWith you..

missing you everyday...